“narrowing focus “/ carps

Carpe Diem #934 Onions

a morning of snow
only the onions in the garden
blaze the trail

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

In the words of Kristjaan (Chev.) ,
the above poem starts basically with a wide-angle lens on the world in the 1st line, then switches to a normal lens for the 2nd line and zooms in for a close up in the end.
And this us what we have to attempt for How to Write Haiku
” narrowing focus ” , for Carpe Diem # 934 Onions !
It is not an easy work to “narrow the focus ” and after pondering for many hours , here is my attempt
following the path of the master , Basho .

below blue spring sky
boatman fish on the small lake
basketful of carps

image

photo ( my pic )

for,
chevrefeuillescarpediem.blogspot.in/ –

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6 thoughts on ““narrowing focus “/ carps

      1. milan rajkumar Post author

        Well Kristjaan , I Always take you as my mentor about writing haiku techniques ! You taught me a lot ! And hope my haiku’s if they are fit enough , will be in your e- books !

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